somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wish there were birth control emojis
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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