I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
