So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
