You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
