did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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