scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
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You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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