why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
