i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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