he thought i was a dude.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
