He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
