i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
