I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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