Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize