you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
