He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
