im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
