I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize