I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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