you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
