im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize