take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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