If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
