Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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