I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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