he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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