i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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