haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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