my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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