I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
