Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
