I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
