Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
