why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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