one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
