she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
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I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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