At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
