Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Michael Bay diarrhea
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
