i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize