I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
