The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My balls are so social today.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
