fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
