I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it was like eating out sand paper
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
