let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
false alarm, still single
Randomize