did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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