garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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