After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
