Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
