it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
