You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
