hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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