he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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