somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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