There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
