This is not my ceiling
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
