when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize